Op Ed

Published on March 31st, 2013 | by thevyne

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10 ‘Friends’ You Find on Facebook

By Kailei R.

I love Facebook, I really do. I mean, I probably wouldn’t keep in touch with half of my Facebook friends if it weren’t for the social network existing. One thing I’ve noticed by having over 1000 Facebook friends is that several common “types” that emerge. Some funny, some frustrating and some just plain sad. I started wondering, am I the only one who has Facebook friends like these? Then I thought, how many people have accused me of being one of these? So, I had to share. And don’t worry, if you are a Facebook friend of mine and think I’m talking about you on here, I promise that none of these pertain to one single person.

1. The “I Wish I Didn’t Know Your Political Views” Friend: Since many of us have been taught to not talk about religion and politics, especially in the workplace, there are many people whose political or religious views I am not aware of. But there’s no better time than a presidential election to find out how your Facebook friends really feel. I have to admit, there are some people who I liked a lot more before they got “ignant” on Facebook during the 2012 campaign season.

2. The “Why Are You So Angry All the Time?” Friend: I’ve had to remove some people from my newsfeed on this one. I understand you are bitter about your ex, your daddy or your childhood but don’t use every time you log in as an opportunity to vent. Please!

3. The “I’m Sexy and I Know It” Friend: This friend is always taking a picture of herself. She (and it is most likely a she) takes her photo just about every day, usually in her car or bathroom in front of a mirror. And definitely anytime she gets dolled up for a party, concert or event you will usually see several photos of her (usually with the trademark Facebook pose with her hand on her hip) with a caption pointing out her favorite part of her look for the night (“I am rocking these pumps!” “Light skinned cutie!” “Short haired beauty!”). It’s alright, girl. There’s nothing wrong with loving who you are, and most people wish they could have half the confidence you do.

4. The “I Post Every 5 Minutes Friend”: You know this one. He or she posts every time  they get an opportunity. “Just got to work” or “just got my car washed” or “Billy just spit up some peas!” Any of these statements by themselves (maybe) would be okay, but when you’ve posted 12 times in a day and it’s only noon, there’s a problem.

5. The “Don’t You Wish You Were Me” Friend: This friend only posts when they are at an amazing event, on a incredible trip at a place you’ve never heard of, posing with a celebrity or political figure, or attending an awards show. You and all this person’s other friends live vicariously through them. You want his/her life and he or she knows it.

6. The, “Let Me Show You How Much I Love My Man/Girl ” Friend: This person talks about how much they love their significant other all-the-time. I mean, we only see photos of them together when they are kissing, sitting all hugged up on each other or wearing matching outfits. Or, they constantly post how much they love each other on each other’s walls. What’s worse is when that couple breaks up and all of a sudden those posts abruptly stop. Awkward!

7.  The “TMI” Friend: I know you have seen this one. This person tells all of their business making you feel reallllly uncomfortable. Sweetheart, I’m sorry he stood you up and I know all of the emotions you must be feeling, but call someone, ANYONE before posting all your pitiful business on Facebook. I wish I could describe some of the things I have seen but I know it will call out specific people, so I will refrain. All I will say is, keep your business to yourself and your close friends/family over the phone or in person. But thank you for some juicy drama that I didn’t have to even watch an episode of Scandal to get.

8. The “ALL CAPS” Friend: EVERY TIME YOU POST IN ALL CAPS IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ARE SCREAMING! That is all.

9. The “Why Are Your Posts So Long?” Friend: I know Facebook is not restricted to 140 characters like Twitter. However, if Facebook has to truncate all of your messages with a “continue reading” link to expand, your post is likely too long.

10. The “Yes, I Know Your Kids Are Cute” Friend: Now, I know when I have kids I will likely be in this category, but I have to include this anyway. Jimmy and Lizzie are adorable but we don’t need to see their daily growth chart and 125+ photos per weekend of them playing in the snow/leaves/sand. Unless they are super duper cute in which case I will look at all of them.

Can you relate? What other types of Facebook friends have you seen?

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