Life & Style

Published on February 14th, 2013 | by thevyne


Wedding Planning Words of Wisdom: Part 1

By Kailei R.

As many of you know, my wonderful boyfriend of several years and I got engaged last September (so excited)! We were pretty aggressive with our timeline (we’re looking to get married in June) and things are just starting to come together now that we have a date set. As many of you have experienced through planning your own weddings, being a bridesmaid or observing friends in “wedding planning mode,” planning can be a beast! And since it’s usually the first major “project” you and your hubby-to-be plan together, it can (and likely will) cause tension, especially since the changes that both of you agree on everything is slim to none. So though we’re still in the thick of “wedding planning mode” I wanted to give you part 1 of my wedding planning words of wisdom (and there will certainly be more to come in over the next few months).

1. Set expectations. Will you be sharing the load with wedding planning or will the bulk of the planning and decision making land on one person or the other? Most brides do the lion’s share of the work, but that doesn’t have to be the case as some grooms want their voice to be heard too (and, the wedding should reflect the both of you, right?). Even if you are doing most of the planning, one of my friends recommended doing as much of the leg work and research then come to the groom with 2 or 3 options. Too many options may be too overwhelming for your boo.

2. Get the big stuff out of the way.  Some of the big decisions that you’ll want to tackle first are size of the wedding, size of the wedding party and location (destination or no destination, church wedding or not, indoors or outdoors). The size of the wedding was something that was a point of contention to us. I wanted bigger, he wanted smaller. Ultimately, once we made the list of who we wanted to attend, he realized that it was virtually impossible to have it as small as he wanted. However, knowing about his preferences made me think hard about who to include on my list. Bottom line, getting some of these conversations out of the way can help the bride and groom both see what their preferences are and (hopefully) reduce the friction later.

3. Spreadsheets are a must. There are so many little details that need to be planned for the wedding — even if you have an amazing wedding planner. There are so many resources out there to check out. Here’s one from Real Simple.

4. Figure out your “style” a couple. Weddings should reflect your style as a couple. Are you traditional? Do you love a certain type of music? Are you two adventurous? If someone were to ask some people who know you two very well, how would they describe you? Use all of these things to help you “design” your wedding. Since it’s usually us ladies who have been dreaming about our wedding day since we were little girls, we sometimes have the tendency to make it all about us. I would encourage you to make it all about both of you! That will make it different than any other wedding your guests have ever been to before.

5. Make choices on what’s important to you. Unless budget is not a consideration, chances are you are going to have to make some choices about what to save on and what to splurge on. Though you may want an incredible and popular wedding reception venue, amazing photographer, awesome videographer, and 12 piece award winning band, you likely won’t be able to afford all of that. And oh, by the way, if you live in a major city, weddings are ridiculously expensive. So think about which things are important to you.

Whatever you do, ladies, don’t forget that though we all want our special day to be perfect, what’s most important is the marriage, not the wedding. Happy planning!

Do you have any wedding words of wisdom to share? Add in your comment below!


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