Published on January 17th, 2013 | by thevyne0
Five Tips for Taming Your Temper
1. Be aware of your body…be aware of how your body feels when you get angry. You know that visceral response your body has that feels like all the adrenaline in your body is coursing through your veins? Or that lump you get in your throat? Or perhaps your jaw gets tight and your brow gets furrowed. Be aware of the physical ways your body expresses anger so you can slowly begin to control it. Try it next time you’re in a situation at work that makes you angry. If you feel your brow furrow, consciously make yourself un-furrow it and see what it does to the intensity of your anger.
2. Pause for dramatic effect…when someone takes you off guard with a comment and it instantly pisses you off, pause. Pause before speaking, no need to fire back right away. Let the silence sit there and say something like, “I’m pausing because I want to make sure I understood what you just said…” then you can launch into tip #2, ask questions.
3. Ask questions…when you find yourself so angry that you can’t get your thoughts together to respond the way you’d like, buy yourself some time to organize your thoughts and calm your anger by playing lawyer. Ask questions. Ask questions from a space of pure curiosity. Really try to shift your energy towards understanding their point of view as opposed to your energy being directed towards being angry. As you do so, you’ll find that your anger starts to dissipate and you’re able to think clearer regarding how your viewpoints are similar and/or different so you can respond accordingly.
4. Carry a Worry Stone… or some physical object that you can have discretely in your hand to remind you to go to your zen space in the moment. It acts like a lightening rod, so to speak. Be sure it’s small and discrete. Bring it to situations where you know the discussion may get heated.
5. When all else fails…take a 24-hour time out. Sleep on whatever it was that pissed you off. Choose to “table” your anger for later. It’s almost always the case that the 24-hour cool down will diffuse some of your anger to the point that you should be able to think more clearly about what response is appropriate to the situation.