Published on July 16th, 2012 | by thevyne


Online Dating: A Few Tips for the Men

By Vyne Contributor, Lenna Jones

Someone wise once told me that life is like a garden…we plant seeds throughout our lives and beautiful flowers grow and flourish with plenty of care.  There are times we plant seeds and the flower never seems to grow, maybe the sunlight was too much or maybe not enough water (figuratively speaking).  Whatever it maybe, the beauty of life is how our gardens change from season to season.  I think of my garden as patches, a patch of beautiful roses for my love life, a patch of peonies for my friendships, etc.  Recently, I have been focused on my dying roses.  Trust me, other areas of the garden need attending to but this patch of roses looks like death!  Someone suggested I try something new to give my roses a little life…online dating.  I was very skeptical at first but I figured I needed to try something new in order to revive the roses.  The process, is actually fairly simple…write a profile, post a picture, and set parameters for those who fit your expectations. Little did I know that this albeit simple process would prove to reveal that online dating is just as packed with “weeds in the rose garden” as traditional dating. So men, this article is for you. A few tips on how to avoid being that annoying weed in the garden:

Own Your Educational Choice – If I get one more wink or email from a guy who says he has “some college”, I think I am going to scream.  What is “some college”?  Oh right, that tells me you started something and couldn’t finish?  Or maybe you think “some college” sounds better than just high school graduate?  Let me help you out here, no!, it doesn’t!  I would rather date someone who is confident that college is not for him but he completed high school.

Picture Etiquette – Men if you are reading this article and you are currently active on an online dating service, please do NOT post pictures of yourself in the bathroom with your shirt off.  In fact, do not post any pictures with your shirt off unless you are looking for a shallow woman who only wants you for your body. Oh and no glamour shots…please!

Keep it Tight – Please, please, I beg you, not to post a picture of yourself shirtless if you haven’t been keeping it tight!! Another tip on posting pictures, please don’t post a picture of yourself showing you taking the picture (mirror pics)…do you not have friends who can take the picture for you?

Use Your Words – Men, when you actually get the courage to write a message as opposed to winking, please write more than “Hi!”  We are not at a bar, “Hi” isn’t going to cut it in the first interaction.  How about commenting on something you read in my profile?  And definitely, “Damn you look good, I want to marry you”, is not going to warrant a response from me.  Gentlemen, a message to me stating “ You are so beautiful, I have never told a black woman that before” does not warrant a response.  In fact, the only thing it does warrant is a DELETE!

So let’s say your profile pictures are all good, you write a respectful/charming message, we have talked on the phone and you seem normal, we even get to the point of wanting to meet each other for the first time.

Location, Location – Gentleman, please pick a respectable venue to meet at the first time.  Respectable means NOT your place or a club!  Do you really expect someone who you are meeting for the first time to come to your place, if she is crazy then maybe.

No on the Action, Fellas – Another tip on meeting your match for the first time, just because you wine and dine her, it doesn’t mean you are going to get any action!  In fact, if a woman is ready to give it up on the first date, be wary!  There isn’t that much chemistry in the world or money for that matter for that to happen on a first date.

Gentlemen, if you don’t fall into the above descriptions, then you’re already more than halfway there. What I know for sure is that growing my rose garden is going to be a labor of love…and I’m in it for the long haul.

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2 Responses to Online Dating: A Few Tips for the Men

  1. Carol says:

    You go girl!! Value yourself…

  2. It is really important to read internet dating tips for males prior to you before considering yourself jumping into online dating scene. However, by using these great tips and advice I believe that it can really aid every men regarding the do’s and dont’s of dating.

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