Advice

Published on August 21st, 2011 | by thevyne

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The 35-44 Age Box: What You “Should” Know By Now

Maybe it was Kailei’s doctor’s recommendation to start taking Viactiv or perhaps it was my incessant need for strategically placed naps throughout the day and the purchase of an automatic blood pressure cuff that brought us both to the realization that we’re old…“er”…old-er. Which means not only do we have to make sure we’re taking good care of our bodies, other aspects of our lives should really be in order by now. By that we mean, if you too are checking the 35-44 “box” you should really have a deeper sense of awareness about yourself by now. When you think about it, we’ve had at least 30 years to get life “right” by now…would be a shame if you made it through your 20’s only to find you’re still the same person…no wiser, no smarter, no better for the journey.  As we were chatting about this, we came up with a list of “shoulds” that seem relevant for those of us in the 35-44 box. See if these things resonate with you:

  • Your “Baggage” SHOULD be Worked Out – Everyone has some “baggage”. But do you find that you’re still lugging around the same baggage from your 20’s? Aren’t you ready to put it down? If you still have “baggage” to work out you should add “therapist” to your list of service providers, somewhere in between hair stylist and waxer.  Let’s face it, sometimes life throws you curve balls that require you to actually spend focused energy and time, with the help of a professional, exploring all the ways that curve ball has manifested itself in your life, particularly in ways that have not been helpful to you. Think of “therapy” as you time. Time to talk all about you in a non-judgmental space with a person who is trained to help you explore the nuances of the experience so you can put it all back together in a way that is meaningful, makes sense and produces a better, healthier version of you…with way less baggage.
  • You SHOULD Know by Now What Your Relationship Deal Breakers Are – Are you still entertaining the same type of guy, putting up with the same “stuff”, hoping and wishing for different results? By now, you should know what you stand for and what you don’t in a relationship. And, oh by the way, actually stand for those things. This doesn’t mean having an unrealistically long list of what your ideal mate needs to have, but it does mean being aware of those handful of things that you know are “must haves” in order for you to feel you’re in a relationship that’s healthy.
  • You SHOULD be Doing the Things in Life that Bring You Happiness. You’ve had at least 30 years to figure out what things make you unhappy, so by process of elimination, you should now be doing the things that actually make you happy. Make it a point to say to yourself that if you’re not enjoying it, you’ll do something else.  We came across a quote that said, “happiness is simple—everything we do to find it is complicated.” But it doesn’t have to be. You know what makes you happy…now find the courage to do something about it.
  • You SHOULD be Breaking the Patterns. How many times have we heard that if you keep seeing the same situations arise in your life, it means you haven’t yet learned the lesson? Learning from your mistakes or other peoples mistakes, is the key to breaking the pattern. Just because something has always been “your story”, doesn’t mean it has to continue to be “your story” going forward. Pick up the needle on that broken record. Put a period to that sentence. Whatever metaphor works for you, just do it. Enough already.

 

 


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