Advice

Published on April 24th, 2011 | by thevyne

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Claiming the Unknown in Your Love Life

Over the course of the past few days I’ve had several conversations with friends, all professional women, about the power of unabashedly claiming, out loud, what you want in your life. If you’re someone who believes in the law of attraction, a la “The Secret”, then this sentiment of “calling something out and claiming it” already resonates with you. You can probably think of several of your own girlfriends who are diligent about making goals for their career and have confidently spoken them out loud. These women have probably achieved a great deal in their lives already and continue to dream new dreams. What I found most interesting about all of these recent conversations is that I was having them with other single, professional women and while we all had no problems claiming out loud what we wanted for our lives in terms of career, finances, health/wellness, home ownership, etc. what we seemed to have more trouble claiming aloud, with the same fervor and confidence, is the desire to find and keep a loving relationship.

Now, this is not to say that we don’t often talk with our girlfriends about love lost, love found again and love gone awry. But it is to say that there is something about claiming “marriage” for yourself before you’ve met your groom-to-be that must create a feeling of uneasiness…a feeling of “I just opened an umbrella while inside of a building, standing under a ladder and watching a black cat cross my path.” I say this only because it’s seems that even when someone does proclaim their desire out loud, they often follow the statement with a disclaimer of “well if it doesn’t happen I’ll be fine by myself and with my friends”. And while this can certainly be a true statement, that we can all “be fine” by ourselves, I couldn’t help but start to wonder: what keeps us from having as much confidence about the unknown outcomes of our love lives as we do about the unknown outcomes of the other parts of our lives?

One friend of mine offered that its because we feel we don’t have as much control over our love lives so we refrain from tackling it and speaking about it the way we do the other areas of our lives.  Another offered that it’s bad luck to claim it before it happens and yet another offered that they would be embarrassed if they claimed it out loud, for all to hear, only for it to never happen.

Whatever the reason is, if the law of attraction is real then timidly whispering your desires for your love life will get you no where. So let’s test it ladies. From this point forward, let’s be loud, brash, confident and unabashed about what we want for our love lives and see what happens…hey, what do we have to lose? <insert the obvious joke here>

 

 

 

 

 


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