Advice

Published on February 19th, 2011 | by thevyne

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Write Your Man A Guide to Understanding You

By May Lugemwa

There are all of these books in the zeitgeist (Act like a Lady, Think Like A Man or He’s Just Not That Into You) telling women how to behave for a man’s benefit.

A radical suggestion: Let’s not change. Let’s write men a manual on how to treat us precisely how we want to be treated.  This theory comes from none other than my own husband.  “I need you to write me a guide, on how to…understand you,” he said off-handedly after one of my particularly confusing outbursts. I asked him if my weave looked real. It didn’t. But I wanted him to say it did.  Except be totally honest. Anyway, his comment stopped me in my tracks with its simple brilliance.

Here’s what my guide would look like. Envision a sleek, double-sided laminated business card with pertinent info. that he could pull out of his wallet at a moment’s notice.

1)    Managing My Mood Swings

2)    How to Wow Me on Special Occasions (e.g. My Birthday or Valentine’s Day)

3)    How to Effectively Answer the “Do I Look Fat in This Dress?” Question and Make It Out Alive (also helpful for the “Does My Weave Look Real?” Query)

4)    My Favorites (Places to Turn to When You Need to Get Out of the Dog House)

a.     Local Spa and Nail Shop – gift certificates available

b.     Restaurants – romantic dinners rock

c.     Jewelry Stores – can’t go wrong with shiny objects

5) The Key to Listening to Extremely Lengthy Detailed Stories without Getting Bored.

*Bonus Section: Why We Click (A fill-in-the-blank section for memories, inside jokes, and dates to remember)

Putting together a guide is all about generating more positive interactions in a long-term relationship. What wait for years to pass for your man to gradually figure you out when you can help him out right now?  Spontaneity and surprises certainly spice up a relationship, but there’s also something to be said for certainty. Knowing that your man knows exactly how to make you happy. Too often, we expect men to read between the lines and magically guess whether we need a hug or a hamburger.

Finger crossed that, in time, a guide will help your man “learn you” and all of your complexities to keep your relationship spark strong. Cheers to that!

Ladies – what would you include in Your Man’s Guide To Understanding You?


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