Love & Relationships

Published on December 4th, 2010 | by thevyne


Single Ladies: Closing the Deal

Photo Courtesy of Getty Images

This year was met with a rash of articles and television programs all touting the abysmal numbers of black women who are single and want to be married. It’s no wonder any of us would go to great measures to close the deal when it’s within reach. Have you ever asked your girlfriends who are married what they did to close the deal with their man? The funny thing is, we all have or know someone who has implored a host of familiar strategies when trying to close the deal. Several of which, although not healthy, are quite funny and have gotten results.

Take for example, the old “lean back, wear down” strategy. This is when you hang in there for year, after year….after year hoping against hope that his “cab light” will come on and you’ll be the one who “out waited” everyone else.  Problem with this strategy is that the older you get, the less practical it is. Not to mention if you’re not standing there at the precise moment when his “cab light” goes on, you can quickly get bumped for someone who just showed up.

Perhaps you’re more familiar with the “say anything” strategy. You remember the classic 80’s film where Lloyd made a complete fool of himself (a la boombox in the rain playing “in your eyes”)? Well the “say anything” strategy is when a woman throws herself full force into showing that man she’s head over heels for him, doing things for him that she dare not confess to her girls, all in the name of hooking him. Problem with this strategy is that the foolishness it requires may leave you broke and standing in the middle of the street in your robe, bunny slippers and a home baked pie with a radio over your head while he’s hugged up with someone else…not a good look.

Better still is the “crazy girl” strategy. We’ve all come across (or perhaps have even been—no judgment) the crazy girl at least once. The crazy girl strategy is a bit risky because it requires you to actually snap off on some old “Jasmin Sullivan-bust-the-windows-out-your-car” type stuff. Some men apparently go for that sort of thing. The risk of course is, if he’s not that sort of man, you’ll find yourself rolling your thumbs in black ink and smiling for a camera (a la Paris Hilton).

Let’s not forget the classic “damsel in distress” strategy. You know this one well. This is that girl with 99 emotional and financial problems that only he can fix. This tends to be quite effective in that it pulls on the need for a man to “save” a woman. Problem is, if she stays in distress even after he saves her it can get annoying for even the most patient man.

Finally, there’s the “ultimatum” strategy. The old “I’ve taken all I can stand and I can’t stands no more!” This is when a woman digs her heels in and gives her man that final “it’s me or the door” speech with her fingers, eyes and toes crossed that he chooses her over the proverbial door.

There are a million more of these strategies that we could get a good laugh out of but if any of them sound strangely familiar to you then it means that women, be it yourself or your friends, are still imploring them. At the risk of looking foolish, sacrificing self-esteem, going broke and wasting time, women are still using these methods, consciously or not, to try to land a man. Why is that?

Ladies, it’s almost 2011, time for us to  retire these strategies and create new ones that don’t sacrifice our self-esteem, are way healthier and yield more positive results. So for those of you Vyne ladies who have landed your man in a “healthy” way, share your story so that others can learn and be inspired.

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One Response to Single Ladies: Closing the Deal

  1. B says:

    I subscribe wholeheartedly to the notion that if he’s not proposing, or in some other way letting you know that you’re the “One”, then unfortunately, ‘he’s just not that into you’. It’s hard to hear, and your friends (or even he) may tell you differently, but if he’s not finding a permanent role for you in his life, then you’re temporary until the right one comes along. Thus, don’t go crazy, and absolutely don’t waste your time waiting for something that won’t happen. Wish him the best, and free some room in your life for the right one to come along.

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