Published on March 5th, 2010 | by thevyne0
But You Say He’s Just A Friend
Experts say the best relationships are the ones that have a strong friendship as the foundation on which the relationship is built. Pick up any self-help book and you’re sure to find guidance about the importance of forging a friendship before getting serious with a person. So let’s say you take the advice of the relationship gurus and invest in the time to build a friendship with your wonderful, shiny new guy before getting into a serious relationship. Fast forward a couple few years, you’re in the relationship, tumbling your way through the ups and downs, the countless “girl you won’t believe what he did” sessions, peppered with the trips you’ve taken, family mingling and secret thoughts of what your wedding dress would look like, until finally (much to your dismay)…you break up. Now comes the dilemma, do you stay friends or not? In the age of all things Facebook, very often men will make the “let’s be friends” suggestion. On the one hand, you could put your big girl boots on and (gulp) maintain a friendship where bygones are bygones. But if the thought of him telling you about his new girlfriend makes you want to break into the latest Beyonce “I don’t need him” song, then can you really consider this a friendship? Does secretly hoping for more mean the friendship is a farce that’s setting you up for delayed reoccurring heartbreak? The reality is you’ve shared a lot with this person so letting go is understandably not easy. That said, the “friend” zone is often used to bridge that gap but you have to wonder, how long before the need for authenticity slowly erodes that bridge?
What do you think Vyne Readers, can you really be friends with your ex or is it better to cut your losses and move on?