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Published on January 22nd, 2010 | by thevyne


Date Older Men: The Answer to a Single Girl’s Problems?

All too often we hear from men in the media (a la comedian Steve Harvey) that the answer to a single, thirtysomething woman’s dating woes is to date older men because they know how to treat you, they have learned their lessons early on and their maturity level is a better fit. On the surface, this seems to make sense. But recently I was out to dinner at a swanky restaurant with a good girlfriend of mine. About half-way into our meal, the waiter comes over with two glasses of wine courtesy of the “distinguished gentleman sitting at the table over there”. So out of gratitude we raised the glasses and from afar said thank you. About 20 minutes later the waiter comes back to ask for our names and where we were from, on behalf of the “distinguished gentleman sitting at the table over there”. Long story short, they eventually decided to speak directly to us but only after introducing themselves with their titles first (e.g. CEO of this, VP of that, etc.). While certainly an impressive group of men, we found it interesting that they would choose this as their approach. The whole situation prompted me to think about whether or not dating older men is really the answer for single thirtysomething women. Do older men think younger women are interested in status? Is it safe to assume that “older men” have unpacked all of their emotional baggage or are their insecurities, issues, etc. just as prominent as younger men’s? Older…younger…is it all just a crap shoot? Let us know what you think!

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2 Responses to Date Older Men: The Answer to a Single Girl’s Problems?

  1. Cherry says:

    Interesting observation. I think if I were still single it would be refreshing to have a man send over a drink. Just the other night, a man on a cell phone at the bar leaned over to my girlfriend and I asking if WE were buying drinks. Hmm, real -not -funny. I am thirtysomething and recently married a man 10+ years older than I. He’s wonderful, and I think that is because of who he is as a person. There is some truth from my experience that men in this age group/older men have a deeper, old-school sense of chivalry, a stronger sense of self, and understand their responsibility of taking care of family vs. hoping a woman will take care of them (financially at least). I’ve never been more spoiled. But that does not mean that thirtysomething-year-old men can’t offer some of that as well. A man sending a drink over is a compliment; saying he has a good job could be perceived as arrogant depending on the presentation, but I think men generally like to exhibit pride in their accomplishments — and that they have something worthwhile to offer a pretty, respectable-looking woman. My husband who is totally not flashy…was rather quick to give me his business card (ie reveal his title) and show me his pilot’s license when we first met. He simply wanted to think HE was worthy of MY attention! Let’s face it..most women want a man with status/something to offer no matter the age, and why not? I say enjoy the chivalry of a gentleman while it lasts; it’s a rare commodity these days.

  2. Finally Made Me Happy says:

    Agreed! I’m also engaged to a 10+ year old man, and he is by far the best guy I’ve ever dated. I say don’t knock it until you try it… ; )

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